I awake in my small bed one misty morn
On the old Callahan homestead
And who did I find but a Leprechaun
Perched upon my threadbare bedspread.
Did it startle me? Oh yes!
My heart leapt into my throat
How did I get into this mess, I thought
Wasn’t this a stroke!
My weary bones froze in place
Like a lamb before the slaughter
Terror written all over my face
Where was that holy water?
“Who are you?” I cautiously whisper
And it smiles and bares its teeth
“I’m the tooth fairy” it says, then snickers
“To see what’s underneath.”
It pulls down the cover, claw by jagged claw
Purring all the while — it was mad!
My terror escalates as it shouts, “Hurrah!”
Can anyone save me, my comrades?
I move not an inch as it rips to shreds
The sheets of which I was sleeping
Then stares with eyes so greedy and red
It drools on my naked skin.
“Don’t hurt me…”, is all I can say
And I lay so still and vulnerably spread
But the Leprechaun begins to laugh and flay
One swipe, then two, and I was dead.
Scaly fingers creep ‘neath my pillow
A silver dollar he pulls loose
Then crawls out of the window
And skips off to the next house.
Now the moral to this story
Is quite clear if you’re the victim
Save yourself from greed like this old allegory
And ensure you’re first at killing him!
Shelley Ann Vrgleski